-- Num ---- Username ---- Category ------------- Posted -- Expires --- Pages --- | 44452 | STU_RSFURR | STORIES | 12/15/92 | 12/22/92 | 7 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | Description: the old vax heriarchy | ================================================================================ 1) Vax baby: one who does not know how to change the "$" prompt. One who wants to know what "UserID:" means. One who blinks puzzledly at logout screens. One who doesn't know that a blank screen does NOT mean that the terminal is dead. One who posts blank postings or postings containing "C C EXIT" One who was just introduced by another user by saying "Everybody say hi to (name)! I just got (him/her) an account!" 2) Vax virgin: one who does not know what hitting "w" on the bulletin board does. One who doesn't know what a smiley is. One who gets confused when faced with "XT_command:" One who knows various names on the bb, but has yet to actually meet more than ten percent of them. One who, upon meeting me says "so YOU'RE ronin. oh my gawd...." One who still introduces people as "he's on the vax!" One who has yet to figure out what the Caps Lock key does. One who has just heard of ACS, and wonders what the letters stand for. 3) Vax pledge, class 1: one who has just lost track of time on the vax and who has to ask Rom how to do a terminal loc. This is me. One who has just found Moria. One who has actually MET some of the vaxveterans, and knows what they look like. One who still thinks PHONE is a pretty neat idea. One who knows where the Help Desk is when mentioned in casual conversation One who has a login.com One who is struggling with the concept of a logout screen, but has actually figured out what one is. One who was just told what bitnet is and how to get it. One who can impress Vax Babies with their vast knowledge. 4) Vax pledge, class 2: one who has learned to make those big, funky letters that blink a lot. One who is thinking about getting bitnet, but doesn't want to lie to ACS. One who just locked out Philosophy for the first time. (or Religion, or Chatter, or Poetry, or Art, or Compact Disc...) One who's finally figured out what DCL is. One who now responds to his/her process name while nowhere near a terminal. One who now thinks that (insert name of vaxveteran) is a putz. One who is now wondering how the vaxveterans get their prompts to look like that. One who now actually has a logout screen, which consists of two lines of big funky letters which blink a lot and STU_whatever Logged Out At:. One who can now set broadcast to nobroad, given a hint and some time. 5) Vaxveteran(after this stage, the level forks. The following classifications are approximately equal in status. 5a: Programming Gods One who now can write programs in DCL, Pascal, Fortran, and twenty other languages, and will explain them to you, even if you don't want them to do so. One who now hates Karel the Robot with a burning passion. One who complains to ACS at least once a day about something. ANything. One who knows all ACS employees on a first name basis, WITHOUT the use of ACS_ before the name. 5b: Moriaheads One who now is in the vaxlabs from 5 to 7 every day, any day. There could be a death in the family, and he/she will be in the vax labs. One who occasionally screams in anguish for no readily apparent reason in the vaxlab(character death.) One who will look up whenever the words "Holy Avenger" are mentioned. One who takes no offense when called a half-troll. One who has calluses on a finger from pressing the next-character key One who ducks under the nearest table whenever the phrase "Ancient Chromatic Dragon" is mentioned(OR: One who laughs loudly when the phrase "Ancient Chromatic Dragon" is mentioned.) 5c: Philosophy/Religion geek. One who will enthusiastically talk about whether there is a god or not, what his phone number may or may not be, and if he is male or female. 5d: Ex-Philosophy/Religion geek. One who will scream and run away if the subject of the existence of god, his phone number, and his/her sex is mentioned. 5e: VaxVeteran, Pure Strain One who knows all the other vax users, knows how much they can drink, and whether they have ever thrown up in the bathroom at the Den of Iniquity One who thinks that Whistler should be crowned god, for his efforts in Music. One who spends at least 2 hrs/day in the vax labs, while not accomplishing any useful work. One who spends at least 1.99/hrs/day reading the BB or playing Moria. One who can read through the BB at any given time and have less than five notices unread. One who knows what the N key is and what it does. One who knows what "wimps hit the n key" means. One who knows who can be insulted, who can't, and what to ask Thorn. (Equus joke! Equus joke!) One who has participated in at least three Postings From Hell, and has started at least one. One who knows what a Dak is, _who_ Dak is, and how much rum must be sacrified to him/her/it/whatever. One who knows who Slug and Beast are/were. (optional.) (these are NO LONGER roughly equal.) 6. Micro Lab operator/Help Desk staffer/MRC student assistant One who actually gets paid for reading the BB five hundred times a day. One who knows about as much about any given computer-related subject as the person asking the question. 7. Operator: One who dispenses printouts. One who can kill processes. One who gets paid. One who accepts sacrfices of small animals in exchange for printouts. 8: ACS-type One who is In Charge of some bit of the ACS superstructure. One who accepts sacrifices of small nations and city-states in exchange for favors and the occasional blind eye. One who can Bust Your Ass.